For a while now, we've had an ongoing discussion of which will die first: the 1996 Opel Tigra or the General Electric wbxr1060tbww washing machine. At first it was a joke, but it's become a rather serious battle. One of these is destined to meet its maker.
When I first arrived in April, the washer had a quirk. "If it doesn't spin, just remove the clothes and lift the drum and it should be fine. Also, the wash settings dial is gone, so to start a load, use pliers to pull the metal piece out to start the machine." When Boris first lent me his car, it was "now the drive shaft doesn't always click into position properly, so just maneuver it until it clicks into gear." I'm used to quirky machines, these should be fine.
While Boris was vacationing in Europe for 2 months, little Tigra developed further issues. It began overheating, which is not good in the tropical equatorial heat where local driving speeds max out at 35 mph. I brought it to Jerry at Padicom. The problem was that the temperature sensor, which tells the engine fan to turn on, was busted. So Jerry decided to bypass the sensor to keep the fan permanently on. Great, thanks, here's $35. Also, the radio volume dial developed a mind of its own. Turning the dial clockwise or counter-clockwise does not have any influence on whether the volume will get louder or softer or MAXXX OUT OH MY GOD TURN THAT DOWNNNN!!!!
In this time, the washer load size dial broke. Yes, it is permanently stuck in the 'mini-basket' position. This makes washing towels, sheets, and bathmats really interesting. "Suze, can I wash some of my clothes at your house?" Yes, but you can only wash 2 shirts and 1 pair of underwear, and if it doesn't spin then we have to adjust the drum and rerun the cycle. I like to fix stuff, so I bought a funny hexagonal screwdriver and some WD40 from Ace Hardware but could not remove the rusted screws to adjust the broken dial.
Now the Tigra may look sleek and sporty, and I may get many compliments from local teenage boys and endless long stares through town, but don't be fooled, this is not an island worthy vehicle. Why not? Because this is a developing country and the roads are not smooth. Like one night when I hit a rock pulling into the Rusty parking lot and the car stalled out, wouldn't start, and smelled badly of fuel. Thankfully, Ray at CarCare tows on Saturdays and replaced the plastic/rubber fuel line that I severed so strategically. Here's $90.
Currently, the washer will fill to 'mini-basket' and agitate to wash but will only spin 1/10 cycles. Oh, and the car, automatic transmission, now only starts in neutral.
One day the car stopped accelerating. On the instrument panel there was a blinking "S" with a circle around it. Sugar? Sportmode? Sell Now? It would drive forward, but felt like I was towing a tank. No pick up. Couldn't get up my steep terrifying driveway even when I got a 100 yard full speed running start. Ughh. The nice Filipino boys at CarCare noticed the car was overheating and decided that little Opel needed a transmission overhaul including replacing the automatic transmission fluid. They found that when Jerry had bypassed the temp sensor, he left the dead sensor in the engine with a bunch of mangled crossed wires. Only $99 and 8 hours later, I was out of Super Fucked mode and back on the road and up the driveway.
I've begun frequenting a laundromat called 4TY. Reminds me of the Grey Lynn Laundrette which makes me wish Ben and Amy were here so we could eat pies and play scratch cards while people watching and waiting for available dryers.
So these are the stakes. Place your bets folks.
We camped out on Ant Atoll a few weeks ago, and one of Wilbur's boys captured a nice big one for us to enjoy. If you play survivor man correctly on Ant, you can subsist on fish, coconuts, and coconut crabs only. We may have supplemented this diet with rum.
